(In response to Charles Warnke's You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.)
Date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems
with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of
books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads.
You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her
bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one
who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird
chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the
reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are
yellow.
She’s the girl reading
while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her
mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed
already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a
glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she
likes the book.
Buy her another cup of
coffee.
Let her know what you
really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of
Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s
just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she
would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a
girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for
anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda,
Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love.
Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god,
she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will
never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a
shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she
understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are
other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of
the world.
Fail her. Because a
girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls
who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a
sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is
meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of
everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like
characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who
reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her
chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a
couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the
characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a
hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s
sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard
you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest
yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and
even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and
Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age
together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow
off your boots.
Date a girl who reads
because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful
life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and
half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and
the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a
girl who writes.
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I stumbled across this lovely piece while I was browsing though my reading list. I saw that April had posted something and I was intrigued by the title so I kept on reading her post to find this.
I've got a few thoughts about this though.
- If you see me reading a book, don't sit down next to me (especially if I don't know you) because I will glare at you.
- Don't ask me if I like the book. Don't talk to me, I'm reading and I don't want to be interrupted.
- DON'T EVER LIE TO ME. Actually, don't ever lie to anyone. Period.
I agree with everything else though. Especially the first two paragraphs. :">
I didn't even know it was just a response to a post. haha I have read Charles Warnkes' (thanks to your link) and well.. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, no to liars. :)
I didn't know it was a response either. I went on Google to find the Goodreads link and it presented me with Charles Warnke's work ;)
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